Monday, November 29, 2010
Our Telefuture: View Data on Your Own TV Screen!
This is our future -- our bulky, awkward, lumbering, rudimentary future. But at least our future includes The Hoff (seen at 2:54).
Radio Shack has 8-Track Players!
Radio Shack figures it all out for you: you save $30, so you have choices: you can use your savings to buy a player for the little woman and her Datsun, OR instead you can buy yourself car speakers and your first tape and screw everyone else.
You know what you're going to do.
The math for this deal was figured out on a Tandy calculator.
The Polaroid Swinger Says Yes!
Star-to-be Ali McGraw is introducing care-free young people to the Polaroid Swinger. So easy to use -- only five thousand simple steps. And don't get any of that chemical on your flawless skin.
Stereo Sense Without Fashion Sense!
Dude in the leisure suit needed a lot of help, so he went to the booklet.
Maxell Tapes
Classic and iconic, yet cliched and tired, yet still somehow beautiful to look at. Etched in the skull of a generation.
The Introduction of the Apple MacIntosh Computer
It is pretty much agreed that this is the greatest TV commercial ever made. It was shown only once, in 1983, and ushered in the age of the personal computer. It's ironic and perfect and still holds up today. The Apple MacIntosh, not so much.
The Most Ingenius Betamax Ever Created!
The father of the brides (quintuplets!) goes all out for his little girls. Nothing is too good for them, not even a Sony Betamax.
Girls, try not to think of this gift as a bad omen.
The Odyssey of Playing with Square Balls
In 1973, this was breathtaking excitement in the living room.
What we call video games, Magnavox calls "a closed-circuit electronic playground." Remember, your Magnavox dealer is listed in the Yellow Pages, just in case your internet is down.
Color TV in Glorious Black and White!
A commercial for color television -- in black and white! It's RCA, so you can take their word for it.
"Look at that color!" says Dad. Uh, OK.
"And look at all the shows in color!" exclaims Junior, but he doesn't show us his TV Guide. That's because he's lying.
Long Distance Romance
Long Distance: The Next Best Thing To A G Spot.
In 1964, all it takes for Nerd Man to get the gals is knowing how to make a long-distance phone call. Dig.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
James Dean Pimps Pepsi!
Here's James Dean's first paying job, in 1950. And he's not even the most popular guy at the party. It's 1950s wholesome fun -- sorry, Jimmy, no brooding allowed!
The Monkees Pimp Rice Krispies!
Peter is fading fast, but it may not be for lack of Kellogg's Rice Krispies.
Joe Namath Pimps BeautyMist Panty Hose!
This was as radical as advertising got in 1973. And only $1.69 for the pair. Cheap!
At the end of the commercial, Joe canoodles with a young pretty, to negate any suspicion of tranniness.
Penny Marshall and Farrah Fawcett As Roomies
The silky and the sulky! Talk about perfect casting: the plain girl and the hot bubblehead (literally -- Farrah's soaping up her pre-Farrah-'do with Head and Shoulders!).
Richard Dreyfuss Pimps the 1970 AMC Javelin
On a dark street, the very last punk you would want to run into is, of course, Richard Dreyfuss. Especially with his Humphrey Bogart accent. Or is he doing Teddy Kennedy? But here he is, about to steal your 1970 AMC Javelin (so how tough can he be?).
Actually, the man who owns the Javelin is worlds tougher. He would have to be, owning a Javelin.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Parts Is Parts
This is absolutely brilliant. Keep replaying it until you have it completely memorized.
The New 1958 Edsel!
We're told that the Ford Edsel was the biggest disaster ever. Call me crazy, but I LOVE 'em! I want one. Maybe it's the sleek background music that's really selling me.
More Doctors Smoke Camels!
Very reassuring. And check out the classy dame who shows us how glamorous smoking can be!
Marilyn Pimping for Royal Triton
Marilyn asks the attendant to "put Royal Triton in Cynthia's little tummy," and he responds with an incredulous "Right, lady!"
He doesn't believe what he's hearing, and neither do we. Maybe it's best that he puts nothing in Cynthia's little tummy, to keep Marilyn off the road in that condition.
Jackie Voting La Vida Loca
The best First Lady ever, appealing to Hispanic voters before it was fashionable (but leave it to Jackie to be fashion forward, a vangard pioneer). Her Spanish is impeccible, but her delivery seems a bit sleepy.
Eisenhower Answers America Awkwardly
Check out the natural ease with which Ike talks to our typical American housewife, who is bugging over "high prices." What, eight cents for a gallon of milk, you poor thing?
Apparently, Maimie rides Ike about the same issue, when she arrives back at the White House from the grocery store.
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